Let's Not Talk About Happy Endings
by ariadne melody
Summary: Stefan's given up on happy endings- maybe what he and Elena had simply wasn't meant to last.


The chair was not comfortable, but then, Stefan supposed a chair in a torture room probably shouldn't be comfortable, that a comfortable chair would probably defeat the purpose of the room. Still, would it kill them to give him some sort of cushion or something? He struggled against the chains, hungry and irritated, wondering what Elena was getting up to while he was locked in the tiny cell. Probably something with Damon. These days Damon and Elena seemed to be practically attached at the hip and granted, for a while he had almost hoped such a thing would happen, because Damon would definitely protect Elena against practically anyone and everything, but did they have to be so fucking _obvious_ about it?

Lexi stood before him, an odd smile on her face. Lexi, his best friend, his oldest friend, his dead friend. Yet another person Damon took away from him. Great, now he was a hallucinating, non-feeling, Klaus-obeying vampire. Could things get any worse?

"I get that you're angry," Lexi said. "I'd be angry too, in your position. But just accepting things isn't going to help, Stefan."

Stefan shrugged. It wasn't like he was happy about being Klaus's minion; Klaus was full of himself and talked too much, just like Damon.

"You have to fight this," Lexi urged him.

Stefan had stopped fighting a long time ago.

* * *

><p>They should talk about the future, both Stefan and Elena knew that, but it was easier to not talk about it. Easier to live in the present, mainly because with all the sacrifice shit going on, it was all too easy to see how quickly their lives could be destroyed. Easy to think that this kiss could be their last and they simply kissed harder, hungry kisses desperate with love and lust and fear.<p>

"Do you think about the future?" Caroline asked him one night. They were waiting for Bonnie and Elena to arrive with the popcorn; the high school's film club was showing The Notebook and all three girls had jumped at the chance to take a night off from crisis-management to eat popcorn and sob, and Elena had insisted on taking Stefan. Caroline kept fiddling with her purse, checking to make sure she had enough packs of tissues to get through the film. Although, as Elena pointed out, one could never have enough tissues for The Notebook.

"Sure," Stefan said casually. "About what weapons I'll need to carry with me in case Klaus shows up, what books I should read next."

"So not what I meant," Caroline grumbled and Stefan knew that, wanted to avoid what she was really asking. "I mean you and Elena-what are you going to do about the whole vampire-mortal thing?"

"I don't know," Stefan responded. It's something they hadn't discussed, something they needed to talk about, something they were both afraid of.

He dreamed about it sometimes. Getting to spend forever waking up besides Elena would be amazing, feeling her toes curl against his leg, her hand on his chest. Traveling with Elena, getting away from Mystic Falls; he's pretty confident Elena would jump naked with him into the Trevi Fountain.

"You really love her, don't you?" Caroline's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked at her, tearing his gaze away from Elena. "You look at her and it's obvious to everyone. When you talk to her or even when you just mention her name..." Caroline trailed off. There's something wistful in her voice and Stefan knew she was feeling lonely, maybe even jealous.

"I want you to be happy," Caroline told him. "And she makes you happy. But Stefan-what if Elena doesn't want to become, you know, like us?"

Would any sane person want to become a vampire?

"I just want you both to be happy," Caroline said softly. "I want you guys to have a happy ending, but-is that really possible?"

Stefan didn't know either.

Arms wrapped around his waist and Elena placed her chin on his shoulder. "Miss me?" she kissed his neck as Stefan grabbed her hands, relaxed against her body.

"Ready to shed some tears?" Bonnie handed Caroline a bunch of napkins along with a bag of gummy bears. "In case you run out of tissues."

"Like that's possible," Elena nuzzled Stefan's ear. "Hope you're ready, Stefan."

"Yeah, going with us, to _this_ movie? Very brave," Bonnie smiled.

As they headed inside the auditorium, Elena tugged on Stefan's hand. "You and Caroline weren't talking about crisis stuff, were you? Because we're supposed to talk about that stuff tonight."

"Yes, tonight is all about weeping." Stefan dodged Elena's elbow and kissed her. Yeah, he was completely whipped, going with Elena and her friends to see a weepy romantic movie, but as it meant spending time with her, he didn't mind. Not that much.

* * *

><p>Lexi paced in front of him and Stefan tried to figure out why, how she was back. He didn't care, exactly (he didn't care about anything these days), but as she had him locked in a tiny torture cell, her return was terribly inconvenient for him.<p>

"See, I don't really believe the whole no emotions thing," Lexi was saying. "You tried not caring about things before, but that just made you beat yourself up harder afterwards. Remember 1931?"

"And look how things have turned out," Stefan replied. "I cared so fucking much about Damon that I've lost everything."

"What about Elena? Don't you want to be with her, don't you want to fight this so you can be with her?"

"She doesn't want to be with me, not like this."

"Well, that only shows she has a brain."

"We can't be together again. Not now, not ever."

Lexi just looked at him and Stefan groaned. "Look, okay, we had some nice times together and, yeah, maybe we even loved each other. Maybe we could have done the whole "forever" thing, but somehow, I doubt it."

"Really."

"We would have drifted apart, we would have fallen out of love. Maybe I wouldn't have, but she would have. She didn't want this life, she doesn't want this kind of life, she wants something nice and normal-husband, kids, probably a white picket fence and a dog. That's what she wants, that's what everyone wants for her. So really, it's better this way, better to have a clean break instead of something drawn-out and painful."

Lexi said quietly, "You sound pretty certain about that, like you've given up on everything."

"There's no point in torturing myself with what-ifs anymore."

* * *

><p>Elena curled up on top of Stefan, playing with his hand. She kept looking up at him and then settling her head against his chest again, like she wanted to say something but couldn't bring herself to. Stefan pulled her closer, his legs easily falling apart so hers could fall between them and he lazily slid his hand underneath her (his) shirt. They needed an afternoon like this, sheets and skin and only a little clothing involved, mussed hair and small smiles; school had been a half-day again thanks to yet another town event, but even if it hadn't been they probably would have skipped so they could go to Stefan's bedroom, spend the afternoon fucking slowly as the sunlight fell across the bed.<p>

"Did you want children?" Elena asked suddenly, her voice quiet against Stefan's chest. "Before, I mean."

Stefan's throat tightened and he slid his arm around her waist. "Yes," he said softly. "I did."

"Did you spend a lot of time thinking about the future?" she asked.

"Some, not a lot. It was pretty much decided for me by my father. I knew I would probably be the one staying in Mystic Falls, that I'd have to take over family things because Damon was-well, Damon. I knew I'd get married, have kids," he tried to keep his voice steady, "grow old, die. You know, a normal, ordinary life."

He didn't say that for a time he had hoped his life would be with Katherine.

"I used to think about the future a lot," Elena murmured. "Dream about it, I guess. I always wanted to go to New York and do the whole starving artist/writer thing, at least for a little while. Sometimes I thought Matt and I would get married, maybe move, maybe not. I wanted children. But thinking about the future now scares me. Not just the stuff with Klaus and the sacrifice, but ever since I fell in love with you-I can't think about the future because sometimes I think I know what I want and other times I don't."

"You don't have to know now," Stefan shifted and cupped her face. "Honey, you-"

"Not like it matters anyways, cause Klaus is just gonna kill me," Elena started shaking.

"No, he's not," Stefan insisted, trying to convince both of them. He began kissing her face, needing to kiss her and touch her, to feel her body and know she was safe. "Honey, he's not."

"He might," Elena whispered and then she kissed him hungrily, like her life depended on the kiss.

They didn't resume their conversation later, even after the sheets were pooled at their feet and their hearts had stopped racing. Maybe they should have, but neither had the courage or the heart to, to admit to themselves that maybe what they had simply wasn't meant to last.

* * *

><p>Stefan wasn't very good at forgiving himself. Before his latest return to Mystic Falls, he had assumed a nomadic life that was filled with little pleasures and amusements, but he was careful to keep himself distant from people, careful to keep from getting to close to anyone, afraid of what could happen. It would be all too easy for him to snap again and become the Ripper again; thanks to that, he figured that happiness, true happiness, was something he didn't exactly deserve or even want.<p>

Then he met Elena and he started to dream about the future, even allow himself to think that they could be happy together forever. He didn't allow himself to think about that anymore; he focused on Caroline and Jeremy's cool glances towards him, knew that they thought he was lost forever and that Elena should just let him go. Maybe even Damon thought that now, and the sooner Elena would realize it, realize that she was holding onto foolish dreams and wishes, the better off she would be.

"Why?" Lexi kicked the chair, frustrated with the lack of progress. "Why won't you fight this?"

"There's no point," Stefan admitted. He desperately wanted blood now, needed it. "There's no fucking point. I've lost everything, I can't get it back, end of story."

"You can get it back," Lexi insisted. "Your humanity, your family, Elena-"

"No," Stefan said firmly. "I can't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I lost her the moment I went with Klaus. I can't go back to her, not after everything, and if she actually still loves me, well, that's sick. We're done. We just weren't meant to be."

Lexi raised an eyebrow. "And you two discussed this? Oh, no, wait, who am I talking about? You just decided for her. What the hell is with you and Damon, why the hell do you have this controlling urge to decide everything for people, particularly for Elena? Is it related to your father, because if so, let it go already."

Stefan just looked blankly at her. "Elena and I are finished, Lexi. Sorry if it's not the fairy-tale ending you hoped for."

Lexi stared at him. "You're an idiot, Stefan Salvatore."

* * *

><p>He sat on the couch and watched Elena stare at the floor like the rug was hypnotizing her. Which it could be, because the pattern was pretty damn mesmerizing, but Stefan was positive she was trying to avoid his eyes. He did the same anytime she looked up, only he tried to memorize the colors and marks on the coffee table while pretend he was listening to Damon, Alaric, and Bonnie. He knew he should be paying attention; they were all sharing information and trying to figure out how to get rid of Klaus once and for all. Like that could actually happen.<p>

Lately Elena's been invading his thoughts more and more, a painful kind of torture, a horrible reminder of his old life. How he was able to smile at a silly joke, hug her close and kiss her, feel like the luckiest guy in the world because she loved him.

Now he looked at her and caught her smiling at Damon the same way she used to smile at him, and knew he was right in giving up on her. His old life had been a dream, and Stefan couldn't dream anymore, not of the past or happy endings that would never come to pass. He doesn't deserve those kinds of dreams anymore.

_"So much for my happy ending."_


End file.
